By now, you probably want to tell us that we're a couple of right lovely bastards, or something. Well, help is at hand. Just fill out the form below and the electric Mercury that is the internet will wing your words directly into our hearts. It'll be the 21st century version of the Best Man reading out the telegrams, except without everyone wishing he wasn't.	Your Name Your Email Your Message
The response so far Josie (now known as Nanny Jo!) Wow, brill and multudinous felicitations! It is now 5:30pm our time and Ian is timing the lasagne so that Tom Stacey Logan him and I can all watch together at our house. Can't wait to meet Rob, I think Cliff may even be pushed into second place! It all proves that the Stirks clan are definately nuts after all. Oodles of love to you both, you are soooo special to us both. Jo and Ian xxxxx Paul, Cathy, Ed & David fantastic news wishing you both lots and lots and lots of happiness. big hugs Charlotte (your sister from another mister!!!) This is the best thing ive ever heard Dad called me last nyt to tell me! i couldnt be happier you two are perfect for each other!Rob ur the best big bro ever ( David as well lol!) and im so glad that you are so happy with Beth. Beth ive only met you once but i think that you're going to be a great big sis for me!!!!! just like lisa! ur fab and crazy!!!! ( you got Nick a goat for example ha ha) im defo gunna be watching the weding can't wait!!!!!!! love you both loads xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Papa J The very best of luck and happiness to you both. Having worked with Rufus over the summer on GSI I am sure that life will never be dull with him. It's good to see you hitched and happy so may your happiness last for eternity. Good luck once again (and keep him out of the casinos Beth!)..... All my love Papa J. Auntie Posh & The Bridger Clan Darling Ruff & Beff, surely that's the Vegas terminology? Huge congratulations! well just in case none of my text messages got through I wish to point out that My brother stole my virtual presents gag!!!! Typical Simpson comic!( not really!)Also I am sure you only did this so poor Lucus didn't suffer years of " He was My Paige boy you know" and to stop scary Aunties flying in with biggest hat found in the desert! Laurie and Justin were totally thrilled as was Olivia when I woke them all at midnight to tell your news! Lynsey still on Old Blighty time ( she just arrived in Oman 4 easter)was still awake and we had a whoop!and a couple of OMG'S! followed by "no surprise really", (Olivia had already grassed you up with "Your you know when it's the one E-Mail to her")so chuffed for you both! Good to c Rufus's adopted dad on ya message board, hi Duncan remember the old Muscat Aunt? Hope it's not to long before you come and visit us again favoritist neph! (gota big him up Dave, it is his wedding day after all but you were always my fav!)So wedding "Las Vegas" how about honeymoon "Lez Oman"? We just about to move to farm with 2 thousand date palm tree's, a cow, 2 goats and a falaj ( Omani watering system)....... how can you turn that down? Apparently dates keep you regular n I told Steve that's ya sex life n not a bodily function ......"Ja get that one Rufus?" Just wanted to throw a bit of Grandad and Grandma in there.The grandma bit i have waffled on long enough so in grandma style " I think it's a phuking liberty we were not invited!" All our love Steve, Lez, Loz,Linz,Livz, Kaz n Bear! xxxxxxx PS: I think you should only invite people to the summer bash in september and not before!!!!! And only invite people who sent you virtual presents ooh, by the way heres a virtual 5,000 pounds harrods voucher, a virtual his and hers rolex and a set of genuine faberge eggs!!!! Love ya and proud of you always.Justin and vicki here and we cracking bubbles at 10.30 our time!!!xxxxx Nik Green (your brother from another mother) Hi. Jus to tell u that i reckon youre both made for each other. Rob youre class and i luv u loads. Great big bro (so is Dafid). Beth i only met u once but i reckon ur ace n i luv u loads 2.Cant wait to ee u both again. E-mail me when u know what date the parties gonna be on cos im definately comin.C u both soon.xxxxxxRob.xxxxxxBeth P.S. beth my goats fine and his milk and cheese is well nice haha. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Lisa, Lucas & David Simmo To my dearest brother, we have been best friends since I can remember. Seeing you so happy the last few months with Beth has made me feel an extra element of spring in my step! You deserve to be happy!! I have only met Beth a couple of times and it's rare (knowing me) for me to make decisions that are not based on a spreadsheet, a long list of statistical analysis or a business plan that is entirely logical and organised... he he. However that said, I know that you are meant for each other. Lisa and I can't wait to see you next weekend in the bright lights of Brighton. Enjoy your day, really take in every second, it goes so fast and you'll only do it once. All of our love and support flooding your way. I'll be on the net to view you, so smile... Lisa, Lucas and David. x x x x Sarah and Hugo and Martha and Homes I would have personally knitted and stuffed fifty thousand shamba shelf sheep if you would have let us come to your wedding, but it all makes sense in a very foolish way as Horgy would say. Homer says he just wants you to be happy. Martha has just had some braces fitted so can't say much. Mr. Go and I wish you well and will sell all sheep in order to be at the mother of all parties this summer. Wishing you many joyous moments today and we are looking forward to meeting Rob or Beaver as Martha calls him. He be in for a slight grilling....... Jambo and Hakuna Matata and all that Swahili jazz from the Johnnies. Carey & Paul Dear Rob and Beth Crikey, what a surprise when I got a call from your mum this morning! But then, you were never one to do things the traditional way, eh Rob! Have a wonderful day and congratulations to you both and will be watching with bated breath. The Middletons X Kirsty ‘mu mu’ Fletcher This is a beautiful thing to do, you loved up nutters, your little faces are sooooo cute together...can't wait to meet you, Beth. Big love and congratulations xxxxxxxxxxxx Jason, Pip, Marie, Phil, Kyle & Emily @ Baroque Congrats you guys! Hope the ring fitted. . . We've only known you a short while, but we sure could feeeel the love thing going on! Have a ball and we'll see you when you get back to Brighton and Hove! Barbara Ann Reynolds Congratulations from us all in Wales.Enjoyed the ceremony,brilliant. love Aunty Ivy,Uncle Frank,Graham and Barbara. xxx Adam Winstanley and Karen I'm a cynical man at the best of times but serious props for doing that mate. I wager I'll never see another set of vows containing the words "by the power of Grayskull" again. All the best to the both of you for the future. Sab oh my god... we were all here at the bbc, drinking champagne, singing along and crying our eyes out!!! CONGRATULATIONS... if there was happiness like yours out there for all of us - the world would be a damn fun place! SO MUCH LOVE, Sab xxxxxxxxxx Jon Butler I'm still waiting for the 'April Fools' line... Having said, still waiting to hear that from my parents too, and they were married on 1st April 1961... Rob, next time gwyneth invites me to come see you, you can introduce me to your wife. Good luck guys, and congratulations. Much Respect Kevin Shepherd Love waits for one thing, the right moment. You are F**kin amazing. Massive congratulations you beautiful pair. XXXX Sophie Lake OH WOW I've just watched you two get married!! Crazy experience, but amazing. I'm so proud to know two people who are so very courageous. Have a brilliant time with Elvis! Xxx Adam & Krissie That was f**kin Brill! The wife and I very much enjoyed attending. Is Elvis available for children's parties? Utter insanity! (In a good way!) Have a great time! Ad. Shelley Radford You crazy crazy chick!! Biggest congratulations to the both of you. Sx Ma & Pa Johnson What an absolutely fabntastic wedding! We are all sssssooooo happy but really and truly how can we stop your sister howling? Fabulous wedding at which Pa and I wore our original wedding clothes. Well, in your Pa's case, what he always wears anyway. Nan and San wearing their wedding finery down in Devon- what a hoot! Much love!!!! Ma and Pa xxx The Bueys Congratulations you crazy bastards. Highly recommended! James & Lisa What can we say? Totally mental. But totally brilliant!! Congratulations to both of you, it looks like the road ahead will be long, fulfilling, happy and a whole lot of fun! Lots of love, James & Lisa xxx Chris Fairchild mmmmeee, the third earld of Wimborn, here at a wedding, with the bride in a room on my own, with my trousers down!!! I should cooco. Good boy, you must lover the young filly deeply, almost as much as I love you. Take care, you know where I am you always had my heart, and were always my son.dont know the young filly but she has splendid taste, and I love you both, I also love vegas so........... Thats life thats what all the people say, your riding high in april, shot down in may... Love you rob. Take care. Xxxxxxx Chris Fairchild By the way winkle, I have some pals in vegas. call me on the mobile and whilst the flaminco has gone they do look after the Bellaggio! give me a quick call,and become a soprano!! I do love u so much so give me a call and have a beer on me in the Bellagio ( try the brooklin accent ) well done. Toby Smith Further to my previous message - double-wowsers! That was the first time I've attended a pixelated hitching (very convenient, I must say) and now, like some kind of knock-off Douglas Coupland character, I am in a state of being baffled/amazed/hopeful about the modern world in roughly equal measure. To the bride & groom, then [raises glass, drinks, wipes soppy tear from eye, etc]. Toby Katie (Beth’s special cousin) Hey doll face, We are sooooooooooo happy for you both and…… Nathan has just totally ruined my trail of thought by doing the most horrendous eggy fart I have ever had the pain of smelling!!!!! I knew you would do something like this babes and I totally support you and you betcha ass we will be watching. Still, I am miffed that I’ve missed out on the hen party so you’d better be having one before the big wedding knees up back home!!! If we can still come and stay in May it will be a double celebration now. Lots and lots of love and kisses and best wishes to you and your hubby-to-be. Katie, Nathan and The Boy (Theo) Anja CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH!!!!! Beth you look gorgeous..... what a lovely dress.. oh and a not so bad looking hubby xxxxxxxxxx Bonnie that was the best wedding iv ever been to,i woke up this morn and cried my eyes out!!! and the lovely words,i cried even more when rob did.. beth i love your dress you look so beautiful...i love you both Denise Cook – Auntie Aussie OMG! Congratulations to you two silly people. I've just realised that I sound like Dame Edna (being an Aussie Aunt!), but there is only one Edna- Gramma Johnson-as Rob is soon to find out!! Many Many Congrats & lots of love & kisses from Ivan & Josh, your far-flung Aussie rellos. Any chance of a Honeymoon in Sydney? We have clean sheets on in the spare room.... Joooooooooooooooooooooo Hamer IS IT THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God, yes it is. You Leg End Johnson, Congrats and love to the both of you, I watched and did sob quite a bit, (loser) it's amazing how an elvis tribute can reach your deepest emotions!!!! . Have a fab honeymoon and I'll think about what to get you for a wedding present...... Hey do you have any string?? (Oh Awkward personal joke) see you when your back Love xxxxx Dr. Fact AKA Dr Anthony Hilton Fantastic mate!! I missed the live ceremony but going to watch it online now. Good luck to both of you. I didn't know who the hell Rob was!! Yours in grime, Anthony Bish I think you guys are fan bloody tastic. Nowadays we get all het up with weddings, how much they cost, what table decorations you should have and the in-laws worrying that you might offend your old piano teacher by not inviting them. That we forget what marriage is, which is just the bond you both have for each other. I am amazingly proud to know you and wish you the best of luck. Bish xxx	Dayle, (Antie Elizabeths daughter) Mark, Riann, Tyler & Amy Dear Robert & Beth Hope you have a wonderful day today and spend many happy years together. Mum told me today that your getting married and I am on the web trying to view it live, sadly it wont load ;-( But we wish you all the best !!!!!! Holly Murray OH MY GOD. I'd expect nothing less than something this exciting from you two! Congratulations, hurrah hurrah. And see Mr & Mrs very soon. Loads of love, Holly x Mr Edward Moore howdy mr AND mrs hound, i've posted a video comment on rufus' myspace... it just needs to be cleared by him. you both looked great, from the blobby pixels i saw. i think it was one of the first things you said to me, rufus, "i moved down to brighton with the woman i know i going to marry". (well it was something along those lines) congrats again, Mr Edward Moore Nerssi Noo we have loved every minute of your beautiful day and you know that we only wish we could have planted a thousand kisses on your fabulous faces! hope you're getting pissed and walking on a million clouds we love you endlessly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Tom Smith Alright Rob, Congratulations!!! Looking at the attached photo (see congregation pictures!) of me at your wedding you’re probably thinking, “Who the fuck is that!” I'm almost certain you won't remember me! Does the name Tom Smith ring any bells? No, didn't think so! It’s not that I’m a particularly forgettable person, or that you have a really bad memory, it’s just that you’ve not seen me in nearly 12 years and have no reason, what so ever, to remember me! You once read out a notice for me in Morning Talk when I lost my Jacket and you gave me some maggots to put in Mrs Billingham’s desk when you and Steve organised the maggot race in the Day House! (Ahh, the hilarity). Other than that, the total amount of words exchanged between us is almost non-existent! So don’t beat yourself up over not remembering me, I’m not going to take it personally! If you have a look at some of the old school photos (after 1993), I’m the fat ginger kid with a cheesy grin on my face! Anyway, even if you don't remember me, I would like to congratulate both you and Beth. I was watching live on the interweb and, despite not knowing you, found it to be quite an emotional experience; you’re clearly made for each other! I wish you both, all the best for the future! Your Sincerely Tom Smith (Sam Smith’s Brother) (Smithy on MySpace) Simon Kerfoot Big ol' congrats on your knot tying nuptial fest!! Brilliant, brilliant. Will watch agog later. Lots of love from us all fella. The Foot! Adam Oldroyd Well, cover me in jam and lick me clean….!!! Congratulations to the pair of you! You’ll love being married… It’s brill! I’ll watch from home this evening! Have a great one dudes! Luv, Adam. Jack Cheshire CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH!! See you soon Jack xxx Sophie WOW!! I am SO pleased for you two - how exciting! I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you all the happiness you can take without popping. But enough to leak just a little... :o) Again, so very many congratulations. I am sending you wishes of joy as we speak! Will def. try to watch if I can get to a computer at the appropriate moment, but will look on your wedsite either way (address?) Love to you both! I really hope I get to see you in person to congratulate you at some point soon. Here's to the happy couple!! CHEERS!!! Sophie XXX Charles Collett AH HA HA HA HAAH HAAA HAAAAA... YOU RAVING NUTTER’S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, if you know, you know. I knew with Carolyn the moment I met her and I’m pleased it’s happened to you both too. HUGE hugs heading your way and I expect an invite to Brighton to meet your lovely lady sometime soon. Ah, you crazy kids, gotta luv ya Chaz and Carolyn,,, who will watch as much as they can before going to the comedy club in Petersfield at 7.20 Sophie To the new Mr. and Mrs. Simpson!!! Thank you so much for the invite guys. I feel privileged to have seen two people so in love taking the next step in their life together. Very humbling; puts all of life's shit into perspective. I wish you all the luck in the world, though somehow I think you'll make plenty for yourselves! Love to you both Sophie Joanne Mallon Thank you so much for inviting us to your lovely wedding - it was amazing. Congratulations to you both Joanne Steve Simpson nee Hornsgay Good luck today, fella! See you on t’internet – I’ve cancelled a very rare and equally important visit to the pub for this, so you’d best not fuck it up! All the best, - word to Johnson, probably for the last time actually. In future it will be “word to Simpson” – which, let’s be honest – is going to get extremely confusing. Steve Simpson. Cate Priestman ..it's official. You're the only two that can make me laugh, cry and go 'ahhhhhh' in just one email! This is the best news EVER and I'm so jealous I can't be there in person. I hope you have a great time - hang on, what am I saying!?!?!? Of course you'll have a great time! Just make sure you give the webcam a wave!! Now - just so you don't get too big headed thinking you two are the most loved-up things ever and making everybody far too sick with it, I give you this… HAPPY DAY! Cheryl Hayes Hello Well done to you both – just watched your lovely ceremony and it brought tears to our eyes. Hope you had a blast – certainly looked like you had a fabulous day and best of luck and love for the rest of your lives together. My husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary of being together by getting married, and I’m about to give birth to our second child this month – so I think marriage rocks!!!!!!! Rufus – if I don’t speak to you before I go off on maternity leave, have a fabulously successful six months, I’m back in the office come November. Perhaps I’ll bump into you both when you’re next visiting Chiswick… Xxxxxxx Holly Murray (ps. Pretty elaborate April fool?) The Boycotts We're all sitting at Splatt waiting for the big occasion. Nan and Sandra have got on their wedding finery but Al is still in his gardening clothes We will open the bubbly in a few minutes and drink to you Have a great time See you when you get back to London Lots of love from Nan, Sandra and Al Married on the internet !! Does this mean you can get a divorce by pressing delete ?
T'n'A & Philip Viva Las Vagas, I hope Elvis is everything he lives up to be and you are really happy. Good luck, Rob I hope you didn't shake as much as I did when you proposed and Beth, I hope he bought you a whopping ring marvellous Tom Price Oh. My. God. Hound you're brilliant. Good luck. Having been with my Beth for four years where we've bought a house and a dog together I now feel like I've been taking it a bit slowly. Beth I've never met you but if you make Rufus this happy then beJaysus girl you GO! The conversation where he told me all about you was so heartwarming it hurt, and then when I had lunch with a friend two days later who knew OF Rufus through a friend of a friend and she said "isn't he REALLY in love?", I pretty much knew this was some big shit going down. Enjoy. See you UK-side soon. x x Bob Simpson (Rob's Dad) & Yvonne Robinson Thank you for your circular dated april fools day but we really have no interest in buying a wedding chapel or a rufus hound for hunting with.We have a great deal of sympathy with the deluded woman from the planet BBC1 who is taking on the monumental task of taming THE HOUND OF THE BASKETCASES, but as we are unable to attend your convention would you kindly take a snap and send it by pony express as we have no faith in these hornory new damn fangled machines and much prefer traditional proven methods. We have no memory of reading the banns and have no idea of the bounders prospects and can only assume that as the intendeds name is Johnson [ american slang for penis] that the man got confused and thought i'll have some of that.?? As for your rather convenient excuse that you are doing us a favour by missing a wedding to rival Jordans to peter andre[marvellous coach ] or the Beckhams [thrones]we frankly think it is entirely to do with getting 10000 clubcard points and a free squeegy as per their recent advert.Your rather clever rouse of a summer party when we all know it will piss it down from may to october is frankly obvious and tacky and we for two will not be holding our breath if the recent spate of invites is to be repeated. We have looked into virtualpresents.com and we could not decide between a fishing lure, a nice pasta or a hammer but watch this space. In conclusion dragging us away from a marvellous adaptation of Jane Austins Persuasion to inform us of your intended madness was an unbelievable imposition when one is settling down with a nice glass of Cockburns [ or is that a bad case ?] and the thought of dressing up as Elvis Costello in that heat must be insanity of the worst kind. Having said that you are both British and i have a free cd of his music from the Gruniad which on reflection may be an appropriate gift.May your god go with you and in the words of Bernard Manning' There was an englishman an englishwoman and an all enduring all encompassing love for each other and on the 2nd of April 2007 they did something about it. GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH ,YOU WONT NEED IT THOUGH ,COS YOU WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER AND WE KNOW YOU WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND WE LOVE YOU TO BITS. PS if u call us next year from the labour ward and the sopranos are on, the line could be busy but please try later. Now eve how do you work this bloody sky box?????? THATS ANOTHER FIFTY GRAND BACK IN THE PENSION FUND WELL DONE DAD AND EVE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Duncan Oakley holy cow. i'll be there. do i need to wear a tie? flip me up, you nutbags! you crazy kids! you.. you... you soon to be married impetuous lovebirds! good grief. what a shocker. hang on, it's the first of april... no, surely not... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx John Critchell AKA Papa J Dear Rufus & Beth, Congratulations and good luck! We will try to watch tonight. Papa J. Abbey Harvey Can't wait to watch! Could never see you doing the traditional thing anyway. Although, knowing our family, I am surprised that they haven't all flown over to you, such jetsets as they all are and always up for a party! SO EXCITING! Ella Cade Betty my sweet lady of longtime and Rufus you gorgeous canine of her dreams. I cant tell you how happy this news has made me and as i wipe my wet salty eyes Lily is pointing at your faces and smiling. She is sending her blessings too. Vegas is lucky to have you and you'll be in my thoughts all day and later I will wear my hat ( straw one with feathers in, come on, i'm a french farm girl now!) and blub at your uniting over the seas. You guys are just so modern man! I love you both so dearly and completely understand why you want to knot tie over there, afterall, when your up there with the king the rest of the world will disappear anyway. You were made for each other and if Lily weren't tugging at my feet I could write other such soppy stuff till the tears came home, sorry i mean cows. I mean every word and can't wait for the party, hopefully there will be no pigeon sacrifice! All the love in the world to you both and happy wedding day!! lots of love Mr and Mrs Cade + Lily x ps' see you next week! xx pps' newlyweds always welcome at La Pierre.xx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx David Proudlock Great news! I look forward to meeting the wonderful Beth! When I saw you, Rob, you were totally head over heels and so happy with your life, cos of Beth. So I raise a glass to you both over here in Blighty and look forward to the Mother of All Parties in Brighton. Very many congratulations. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow when I'm in Torquay. Lots of love David Gareth Davies How AMAZING is this?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My god – you never cease to amaze! What great news to greet me on a Monday morning – just hilarious!! Congratulations - Have a fab one – I will be tuning in!! X Kel Godfrey blimey eck you crazy kids! i tell you tho i did notice during saturday club at the eagle that there are big puffy clouds of happiness floating up and down robert street in brighton, still there from before you left! (and 7 small pink horses - but they belonged to a gay man called philippa). i love you have a fantastic day and can't wait to see you when you get back! right i'm off to make my now twice redundant wedding outfit into a giant sized pineapple filled with foam to bash smug newly-weds with XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ps when did someone dump that massive meteor on brighton beach that i can see in that picture? Molly Johnson (Beth's Sis) I love you sooooooo much.Through this myriad of tears I'm crying - for purely selfish reasons cos I wanna be there to kiss my beautiful little sister's face before she goes down the aisle - I just want you both to know that I know this is the shizzle of an idea - you both rock and always will and while you're rocking Im loving you ALWAYS xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dan Hart and Angela Martin Congrats you two! You look really good together :-) Honestly, I get back in touch with Beth after 3 (Or maybe 4) years and next thing we know, she's working on my favourite TV show and getting hitched! Hope you guys have a great day and that this is only the start of more crazy shenanigans for the pair of you. Love Dan & Ange Ma Johnson Much love from us all! In the middle of last night I woke your Pa up and said,'Oh crumbs- do you think it was an April Fool?' and he said, 'No. Go back to sleep.' Then I said, 'At least we don't have to get the front path retiled.' The horse story? Jo AKA Mrs Nathan Congratulations to you both! We'll definately be watching x Martin Davis well done sir just dont lose the wife in a pocker game ! lots of love from cape town David 'Gwyneth' Wynne If this isn't an April fools, Congratulations and good luck you crazy fucker. If this is an april fools, congratulations and good luck you crazy fucker. fucker. Toby Smith Wowsers! Congrats and I'll try and tune in. Trust you have a good Elviservice and hope to see you and meet the new Mrs Hound soon. Best Toby Stuart Murphy You cheap fuck Rufus. How exciting. Poor Beth having to put up with your small ginger cock forever. I mean, I AM guessing though, Beth. Have fun x Richard Watts Many many congrats... thanx for the heads up... looking forward to watching it. xx Rich Steve Hornsby Good luck today, fella! See you on t’internet – I’ve cancelled a very rare and equally important visit to the pub for this, so you’d best not fuck it up! All the best, - word to Johnson, probably for the last time actually. In future it will be “word to Simpson” – which, let’s be honest – is going to get extremely confusing. Steve Simpson. Fearne C ahhhhhh and oh my god! This is probably the best thing ive ever heard!!! This just confirms the fact that you are the coolest MO FO couple in the world! Cant wait to see you when your back!!!!!!!!!! massive cotton love coming at ya fc xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Simon Kerfoot Big ol' congrats on your knot tying nuptial fest!! Brilliant, brilliant. Will watch agog later. Lots of love from us all fella. The Foot! Mr Edward Moore Huzzah! Beth's making an honest man of you. Getting hitched in Vegas is very cool indeed. Which hotel are you staying in? I've stayed in the Luxor, it was well smart. Can't wait to see the wedsite (genius). Seeya soon, good luck. Ed Shirley, Carlo & Dennis Dear Rob and Beth, Tanti auguri from Mezzomonte, Tuscany! Love and Happiness for ALL your future together....dying to see you for real..... Kisses Shirley, Carlo and Dennis	Richard & Lorraine Well, Robert Simpson, you never have done anything conventionally, so why change now. Having known you since you were a ‘nipper’, I guess we are not at all surprised by this and have to (quietly) admire your ‘style’. We have never met Beth, but, having known you since you were a ‘nipper’, she must be a brave (?foolhardy), lass to take on ‘The Hound’ (that name is sooooo appropriate). We toasted you both at the end of the ceremony (yes – we got boozing quicker than you did !) and now send our heartiest congratulations and fondest best wishes for everlasting happiness together. Take it away ! Much love Richard and Lorraine XX Adam Oldroyd Well done you two! It brought a tear to my eye! Have a fantastic life together! Wishing you all the very best! Adam & Krissie x Emma Norcott Well well Rufus Hound – I’m totally surprised by this but I’m delighted for you (both) I look forward to meeting the lady that has made an honest man of you on your return to the UK Enjoy married life Love M’ (Norcott’s wife) Huda Abuzeid Hoorah for love! Congratulations Mr Hound/Simpson. I hope you and Beth have a wonderful time getting married and honeymooning and stuff...have a great day and see you soon. H x Margaret Kincade Rob and Beth Just to wish you a long and happy life together. The wedding looked wonderful and was one of the most moving I have ever seen. Love Margaret xx Samantha Roberts Hi Rob, Congratulations to you both - hope you don't mind - Lisa told us so we logged on and watched your special ceremony - it really was lovely - I even got a lump in my throat! Enjoy your honeymoon and have a long and happy life together. Once again, congratulations. Lots of love Sam, Paul and Jessica xx (friends of your mum first and now friends with Lisa and Dave! and of course Lucas and Jessica are great friends!!!!) Fran Martin Dear Beth and Rob We laughed and cried all at the same time. What a fab wedding. In case you don;t know who we are, Beth, Fran used to work with your mum at Brunel and Dawn is her partner. love Fran xx Carol Sage Beth & Rob: Beth, I'm a long-time friend of Joan & Jim Benedict - very good friends of your Mom & Dad's here in Calgary! I actually work in Jim's company and was informed of your impending wedding this morning, when Jim came into the office. I just have to tell you, that was the cutest, damned wedding I have ever seen and I want to extend my congratulations to you both. Very cool that you found each other and had the opportunity to start your life together off, in such a fun way. Always remember this day - even during the times when you're a little miffed with each other. It's a tremendous beginning and I know it only gets better from here. After all, soul mates are born to be together and thankfully you found each other. Always keep your spirits light and full of love. Remember, marriage is a 90/10 split - for both of you! Rob, my husband Bud would offer up the advice that as long as you remember that Beth is always right, you will live a long and happy life together - poor downtrodden sot that he is - ya right! Hey, he is MY soul mate, so I can say that with love in my heart! Loved sharing your wedding! If you ever make it to Calgary, I look forward to meeting you both. You're right, the party is what everyone shows up for and I hope it's a great one! Much Love on your special day! Carol Darren Thorman I'm chuffed to bits for you both - hope it goes fantastically well and you celebrate in style! Look forward to seeing you as a married couple! I CANT WAIT to see what you would wear for the wedding! Xxx Janey Jane What can i say...this is the best Monday morning email at work ive had.... EVER!!! Can't wait,pulled out half my wardrobe and picked out my hat..will be there with you guys..Have a wicked time, huge hugs Rufus(well before your hitched)...so pleased to see you soooo happy xxx Tom, Stacey & Logan Knight Well what can i say! Congrats guys. Will be tuned in bright and early to make sure i catch the blushing Bride!! So happy for you both and we will have to come and meet you as Mr and Mrs soon. Well enough senitmental stuff you mother fudgers. Hope you have a freaking spectacular day and we will see you soon. Loads of Love Tom, Stacey and huge gummy kisses from Logan. Mummy Hound Thought I'd sign in using the name Beth's recently given me! I'm OK with it - though that infers that I'm an 'old dog'. If this means learning new tricks, like unicycling whilst hoola-hooping, then frankly, my back's just not up to it! (The alternative meaning of 'old dog' doesn't bear thinking about.) But I digress. Till recently, I would've said that no-one knew Rob better than me. But Beth seemed understand him instincively and to have an inexplicable 'connection' with him, right from the start. The enigma that is Robert revealed. Crikey. And she still loves him! In that case, she'll do for me. And for him, apparently..... Have the most fantastic wedding - then come home to your loving families and help us all celebrate what we all believe will be the most amazingly happy, exciting, and successful marriage. Carl and I send you all our love. Today and always. MUM xxxx Bonnie you cheeky fucks,good,good,good may the sun shine from your ear holes!! Grace Davey Oh me oh my! You are two god damn crazy in love fools. Good on you both, I wish every happiness and a long life time of love. Yes it may be hasty but who cares, you two are made for each other anyone can see that. You clearly make each other very very happy and what more could anyone wish for. Bless your loved up hearts and faces, can't wait to see you both. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Grace (the posh one) Zoe big excited hugs & whoops from room 3090 - we'll be huddled round a computer later to view the wedding of the decade. beth - nat & i have totally forgotten all those hypothetical wedded names we came up for you but we do remember they were great so shall put our thinking caps back on. HUMONGOUS congrats to you both. send my love to the king. Geoff Norcott I learnt a lot of things today: 1.) Love really is the best thing. 2.) Technology has a heart, if you know where to find it. 3.) Your Dad is well funny. All my best wishes and congratulaions. I'd say i'm surprised but after reading everything, it's clear that, in an odd way, this is actually the most natural thing in the world. Being married is great. Let's have a smug dinner party sometime. X Laura Scott Doggoooooooooooooooone girl you don’t mess arahand do ya!!??!? Firstly I would like to say…May I be the first to kiss the bride??? MWAHHHHHH and also H U G E CONGRATULATIONS!!!I have a lump in my throat from reading your opening page entries and well, who the hell can argue with that thang they call luuuuuuuurve, eh? So I wish you crazy kids all the best love, luck and happiness in the world, you seem made for each other. I’m made up for ya’s both...You work that dress baby, work it work it work it…and you have yous the most wonderful day of your lives over there little darlins and I’ll be watchin at home with me good dress on and me hankies at the ready! I’m all excited now…who’d a thunk I’d be off to a wedding tonight, when I woke up this morning!? See you at the chapel treasure…get you to the church on time now! Lots of love to you both, Mrs and Mr Simpson, and big hugs, from Laura xxx Nerssi Percy Sacré-bleedin-bleu! karumbah! sweet reet-petite! holy-stomach-acne! Knowing you two has made me forget how to exhale!!!!!!!!!!! Now I know i'm carrying a few pounds, and stairs are still heavy going for me, but by God i tell you, when I heard the news i was as light as a feather!!! Your happiness is so infectious, and its the best disease in the world (you know what i mean). So thankyou for beaming even more sunshine into my life, and for that and all the other euphoric moments you have given me, the least i can do is suck in the gut and squeeze into the dj for tonights Alien ceremony. Loving you both BIG stylee - FACT.
Ian Hay Congratulations! Juliet Hobart Congratulations to you both!! This is fab news, and I will try and watch the ceremony later. It is such a lovely idea, can't wait to see the pics! Take care Love Juliet Xxx Tammy VW You guys are like sooooo HOT right now!!!!! masses of love yeah!! David K Big love to one of the true gents in comedy!!! So glad you've found your own big love, enough to last a lifetime all the best dk PS - You mean you're not REALLY called rufus hound... another childhood illusion shattered... Janey Jane @ Mirth Control Bloody hell...i hate Monday mornings normally but your email has made my day :O) Have a wicked time , ive gone through the wardrobe, clothes now all over the place but out fit ready for the tuning in of the event of this week...cant wait...huge hugs Rob, its mad but only thing id expect from you, go get her tiger :O)xxx Sacha Flippin heck girl!!! Only the Johnson could do this! I am soooooooo happy for you both. Defo want an invite for the party of all parties when you return a Mrs!!!!! Hopefully I'll get to meet the man that has tamed you. Seriously though sweetie, lovin your work you minx you! Big fat kisses and hugs. Xxxxxxx Vanessa ‘Lady V’ Bolliger Congratulations and good luck to you both. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Vanessa xxx Jess Antoinette OH MY GOD I AM ABSOLUTELY GOBSMAKED AND DELIGHTED. RUFUS YOU NEVER EVER EVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME YOU HOUND!!!!!!OH MY GOD YOU ARE HAVING MY IDEA OF A PERFECT WEDDING!!! YOU 'UCKIN GENIUS! BETH LOOKS GORGEOUS YOU LUCKY BUGGA! Vivienne Clore so shall i get busy selling your romantic story of love and romance and elvis to ok magazine like the money grasping agent that i am.........joke - the first bit, not the second obviously. have fun - this will be the best day of your lives so far with many many many more to come the agent xxxx Rob Awesome stuff! Congratulations to the both of you! Rob x Adam 'co-ordinator' Oldroyd Great Big Congrats to you both! Let me know if you need me to book you a taxi back to the hotel! Ads justin tee (male model,spy,rock drummer and profeshenul drinker) well, to say the least im shocked! I thought rob was a closet case and his missus actually would fancy me more! Oh well, stranger things have happened. I want to congratulate both of you and express my warm fluffy marriage type blessings.Im dying to know if when we watch the ceremony live, can we interject by email when the vicar says"is there anyone present who can state a reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony?" If only i had the hacking skills i used to have when the sinclair spectrum was out!!!! Another thing thats bugging me rob.... are you going to consumate the marriage live on the net? If so i have many bits of advice for you as i have done my bit for the porn industry.(tell you another time!)Well i wont waffle on anymore,my girfriend has just turned up at aunty les,s and she is getting some funny ideas about this marriage thing and my gosh it scares me!! Love you loads and have a blast. Remember...marriage is not just for christmas! All our love..justin and vicki(muscat) oh, and hello to martin davies if you are reading this. weve seen you twice in capetown and think you are hilarious on stage( if not a bit strange in real life!) To the regiment!!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Toby Oakley Dear Mr and Mrs Kissyface, Brilliant wedding, lovely speeches. There were absolutely no tears shed this end however, absolutely not, no sir... n't. Had aproximately seven and a half minutes warning from Dunk, so had to just wear the clothes we had on at the time, hope you don't mind. Attached is a photo of our excited faces watching you tie the knot.(see 'Congregation') Obviously, sceptical at first, but we only had to look at you to be convinced. Perhaps we're gay too. Lots of love to you both, Toby, Aloysia, Ricky, Sue and the oh so nasty Ben(t). X Bonnie im so excited for you, beth this is it no more johnson for you, your getting hitched.......i really cant belive the situation! this marrage sounds like a match in a match box, completed with cigeretts and all.. congratulations and happy happy.. beth i know that you are happy you sound it from the message to all, dont have any doubt in your mind i am soo pleased for you ,,,...ilove your face more and more every day i dont see it.. how lucky are we all to have wicked friends.....and to you mister rob who i have never meet but herd your voice.....theres nothing to say but you best take care of our girl which i have a feeling you will, your words that i read made me feel happy in my heart, you jigsaw completed, you can now stick it on a board and hang it on the wall, this woman is something else she brings me so much and also all her pals and familly, you are a lucky man to have that joy every day of your life....... big love to you beth i really cant wait to hug you,which will only be in about 4 days..and rob i cant wait to give you a massive kiss and meet the one to love beth forever.. Tori Smith Absolutely thrilled and blown away.......only got link today so couldn't post pics So damn happy for you both.........cant wait to see you !!! Well done !!! Love you both Xxxx The Weatheringtons Beth & Rob, Congratulations to you both, what a fabulous wedding. Me and Theo were both dancing with you at the end. Theo was waving to the screen and can’t wait to see his Granny Simpson (nee Betty)!! Love and Best Wishes, The Weatheringtons Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wendy & Peter Hi Rob, Lynn has just rang with your great news. We hope that you and Beth will have a long and happy life together and look forward to seeing you in Sleaford at some time. With all our love for your BIG day Wendy and Peter xxxx
Our Messages Beth says: A) I know I know….firstly I’m sorry right. There WILL be the mother of all parties where you CAN all come sporting the mother of all shoes, hats, superhero outfits etc… but B) lets face it. Who’s ever seen me this happy? I mean come on I’d be a mental not to marry the face off this fella sharpish. C) I’m here, in LA and it just so happens so is the man I love so …y’know. It’s there Vegas is, just over some hills and highly desirable trailer parks featuring heavily bearded man colonies (like off of Deliverance a bit) D) Why wouldn’t we? I mean it’s not like you wouldn’t expect us to do something akin to this..perhaps not just yet but ‘HECK!’ I say, Mama & Papa J are down with the Hound, you all seem to approve so why wait…we’ve got a right big fat life to get on with E) I love you lot, really loads and I cant wait to see you F) I REALLY FUCKING LOVE Rob Simpson (sorry for the swearin mum) G) Mrs Beth Simpson though Rob says: There are all sorts of things that I want to tell all of you. I know my friends and family well enough to know that they're both happy and a bit confused by this, all at the same time. Happy, obviously, because this is brilliant, but also a bit confused because not that long ago my life was going down a different track. It's pretty much been all change since Johnson turned up. But here's the thing, you're just going to have to trust me. For someone as verbose as me, it comes as a bit of a shock to admit that I don't have the words to really explain all this. And that's the nice thing about it. As someone who, broadly speaking, craves approval (you don't think I tell jokes for the crowd's benefit, do you?), this is the one time in my life that I don't care what anyone thinks; certainly well past the point of justifying it to anyone. I never thought I'd have someone as totally, utterly, completely wonderful as Beth Johnson to love and be loved by, and it's a thing that I know in every atom of me. I'm not someone who believes in fate or what have you, but I've felt that being with Beth has been like all the pieces of my jigsaw got laid out, and I finally saw what picture they were supposed to make. I'll hold it there, because I don't want to make you all sick, and trust me, if I went on about how much I love her, you would be. So, to my mob I'd just like to say that marrying Beth is the best thing that will ever happen to me. Some of you know that already, some of you will find out over the coming years, but all that matters is that it's true. To Beth's lot, I promise you this, I know how special she is, and from here on in it's pretty much my life's work to make her as happy as she makes all of you. I won't let you all down. Finally, as Beth said, we're going to have a massive party at some point over the summer, so you're all invited. Let's be honest, the wedding bit's always rubbish - it's the party you turn up for. Think our whole Vegas adventure as us helping you avoid the boring bit. Having just read this back, I'm pretty sure I might be gay. Don't tell Beth though. She can be the Uk's answer to Katie Holmes.